Venturing Out Alone

Ever since I was five years old, I've been told many times not to speak with strangers, go near strange things, or ever be found alone. These things did frigthen me at a certain time in my life; a time when money came mainly from my parents and when I didn't have a sense of adventure. To date though, I've probably wandered off from family and friends to venture over a hundred times. But I wasn't running away from anything or anyone. No, I was merely venturing out to see what else could possibly be beyond the barriers of my parents ever watching eyes.
And now that I am older and much wiser, I have seen and done things that most would consider out of the ordinary. Take for example this scenario; you walk into a small cafe and see older people reading books or looking over their laptops doing "research" on the economic status of our country (when their really looking at some cute cat video their friend sent them via email). But look again and yet there I am, sitting and writing a book, alone! You'd probably think me mad! What's a young girl like me doing all by herself in a bookstore cafe on a Friday night?!
Yes, I was writing a book, so I wasn't totally alone, but it was remarkable to say the least how many strangers picked up on the fact that I was indeed writing. Now, call me crazy again, but if you have a good judge of character, you can talk to just about anybody and still be alright (by that I mean safe and not gagged with a sock and stuffed in the back of some guy/girl's car).
Just the other day, I found myself venturing (that is the word) out to get my mom's perscription, when suddenly I found myself looking at Newbury Comics, a store that I hadn't been inside in ages. I thought "well, I don't have anything special going on, let's take a look". Let me tell you, when you walk into a store like that in the middle of the day dressed as I was (looked like I was dressed by someone who works in a mall), you're bound to turn some heads. Nevertheless, as I was hit on by just about every sales associate there, I quickly shewed them all away and managed to turn the corner to the club music section of their CD sales. It was there that I met the most interesting person. He turned to me, smiled, and asked, "you like club music?" and of course I said yes. A nice Ugandan gentleman (about the same age as me, but I say gentleman because that's what you call polite guys) who had found me just about as interesting as I had found him. He said "I've never met an American girl who liked club music as much as I do" and we spent a good twenty minutes talking about it! So that just goes to show you, with a good judge of character, and a sense of adventure, you never know what to expect when you go out into the world alone.
Now, before you ask if I got this guys number (I didn't), let me just say that he was the most polite stranger I've ever met! After I left the store, it left me to wonder "why can't everyone be like this?"
I think it's because as children, we either lose our inate sense of wonder or become scared of the rest of the world and try to hide behind our duties and obligations, leaving no time to just be alone. Alone. That is the root of all evil. I think it was Aldous Huxley who showed us in his book Brave New World that with out having some sort of solidarity in our lives, we will forever be dependant on someone other than ourselves. In having said that, I would like to encourage everyone to try to get out and do things alone for once! Go to a movie, go for a bike ride, a run, shopping, anything! Meet people you don't know, see things you've never seen before! Shake up your life before it shakes you, because ever since I started doing things every now and then alone (more frequently than most do), I've felt amazing! I swear, it will make you feel more carefree than any sleepover, date, or family gathering ever could! 

A Little Old Dream that Still Means a Lot

I remember like it was yesterday, not a year ago;

Just was thinking to myself

‘Things ain’t ever gunna be the same when this year is over.’

Had told myself I wouldn’t forget you,

But made a promise never to turn back around

And wait at the end of a never ending tunnel for the light that never could be reached…

But when I realized that you were there all along in my dreams,

A moment never passed when that light could not be reached.

I felt a warm embrace each night that ensued

And with every wandering reverie,

I thought that you were meant for me.

To have the truth be told I never want let this feeling go.

I’m not sure how to make you believe it,

But I see it those bright blue eyes,

When you fall asleep with me at night, thinking that it feels right.

This might be corny and a little beaten over the head…

I don’t have much more to say,

Other than this…

You’re perfect in every way.

Dream A Little Dream of Me

If you had asked me who I considered myself to be about two months ago, I don't think that I could have told you. Nights were spent with my head buried deep in thought rather than my studies and days were spent wishing and dreaming that I could be done with the cares and toil of secondary school life. To compare who I am now to who I was then would be like putting a diamond up against a piece of stone. That's all I was then really, just another rolling stone.
Today, I feel myself gleaming with happiness all because my dreams have put me on cloud nine. It's a funny thing when you dream about things such as love, friends and making up for lost times. I no longer wake up wondering if it was real, but rather waking with the notion that things are looking up once again. If you say your prayers, hope for the best, and have faith in those you didn't have any in before, God will find you and answer you...
Sweet dreams everyone

The Universe is Listening!!!

When you feel so low at one point in your life sometimes you might find yourself praying or asking friends for advice, maybe even feeling a bit remorseful for some heinous actions that you took during that time. Nevertheless, after you've seen the error in your ways, something good is bound to come out of it all. My life has come back, but it took a little derailment to get me back on track; a hard turn to make me realise that the road I was on was too dangerous to be on.
As we all know, people in our lives may come and go, but we all have that one special person who seems to come back around at times when we need them most. Maybe it's just a coincidence or a twist of fate, but when I was at one of my lowest points about a month ago, this person who I hold very dear to my heart happened to be back in town for a day.
Just seeing this person reminded me that all good things come out of the worst in life and being able to reflect on those things in a positive way will make you a stronger person.
No one gets confidence from holding grudges or staying angry at someone for the rest of their lives. It may takes years to find the courage to forgive someone for doing something that hurt you, but that courage will come, and when it does, you'll find yourself to be the better person in that situation.
I thought I was going crazy when I realized that this situation had hit me lit a brick, but in a metaphorically sense, I picked that brick up and threw it behind me, not holding it and waiting to get back at the person who threw it at me. You could be waiting years to throw that brick back, and that brick will become heavier and heavier as you age.
So chose to drop it, and move along with your shoulders dusted and your head held high.
No body could give me a full reason as to why this person in my life means so much to me, but I believe that the answer to that question lies within the passage of time; no matter where life takes us, we'll both know that we still care for the other, no matter what way that may be (platonically, romantically, etc.).
One thing is for certain is that each day when I think about this person, because they're the sweetest and most headstrong person to have ever known.
So to my readers and dreamers, never stop believing that there is goodness in everything and that you will rise above your anger and hard feelings. Life is too short to believe that wallowing in your heartache will bring prince charming marching up to your door step! You make that happen by going out into the world and finding yourself before you can find someone else.
Long may you dream!

How to have a Healthy Relationship as a Teen

Love is a funny thing, especially when you're only a teenager. You could be having trouble staying in touch because of school or sports. Your family could be struggling with understanding why you want to spend more time talking on the phone with your girlfriend/boyfriend rather than spending it with them. If any of these situation apply to your current or past relationships, then I have some advice for you! Personally, as a High School teenager, I've been through it all; puppy love, long term crushes, long term relationships, long distance relationships, etc. What ever you relationship ale, I have the perfect solution for your problems***.

If you are having quarrels with your parents
Having a new person in your life can be great! It's an exhilarating time for the both of you, but if your parents are not used to you being romantically involved with someone, you have to understand their backgrounds and beliefs on dating.

1. Avoid putting down the other person's ideas and beliefs. If you've ever been on the receiving end of someones tirade or put-downs, you know how valuable using respectful language and behavior can be. So instead of saying what you might be thinking ("That's a stupid idea!"), try: "I don't agree, and here's why." Resist the temptation to yell, use sarcasm, or make derogatory comments and you'll have a much better chance of getting your point across.
2.  The "Daddy's Little Girl" mentality: So you're a teenage girl and you're wondering why your father is always giving your boyfriend the ugly eyeball whenever he comes over, right? Well he has reason for that, and here are a few theories
• He has a younger sister (your aunt) that had dealt with bad relationships and didn't want the next young lady in his life to go through the same.
• Your boyfriend may have a style about him that your father may not understand.
• Your father maybe doing you are favor and you may not know it by saying "LOOK AT HIM! HE'S A CREEP AND YOU DESERVE BETTER!"
• He's afraid that you might be growing up to fast and doesn't want you to lose your innocence.
3. The "Mommas Boy" mentality: Now the other side. You're a teenage boy and wondering why your mother starts to treat you like a baby whenever your girlfriend is around. Well you know that saying "mother knows best" ? Here are her reasons for thinking this way about the new girl in your life
• She's afraid that your girlfriend will take on some of her motherly roles (i.e making you lunch or breakfast in the morning and giving it to you at school).
• You're her little boy and she wants you to stay that way.
• She wants to make sure that the girl you're with treats you right and knows how to keep you in line (won't turn you into a wild child).

Now that you can understand your parents views a little better, it's time to understand your girlfriend/boyfriend's views. If you never want to have an argument with them and stay happy together, here is what you have to do:

1. Know how the other person feels: ask the person about simple things, like how their day is or what they plan to do in the future. When talking to them (if in person or video chat), make sure you listen carefully to what they are saying, not missing little details or body language that could mean something. You may not be a mind reader, but you can certainly tell if the person is lying or telling the truth about their feelings for you by looking at their body language and tone of voice.
2. Trust. You're talking with a guy from French class and your boyfriend walks by. Does he completely lose his cool or keep walking because he knows you'd never cheat on him? It's OK to get a little jealous sometimes — jealousy is a natural emotion. But how a person reacts when feeling jealous is what matters. There's no way you can have a healthy relationship if you don't trust each other.
3. Honesty. This one goes hand-in-hand with trust because it's tough to trust someone when one of you isn't being honest. Have you ever caught your girlfriend in a major lie? Like she told you that she had to work on Friday night but it turned out she was at the movies with her friends? The next time she says she has to work, you'll have a lot more trouble believing her and the trust will be on shaky ground.
4. Mutual respect. Does he or she get how cool you are and why? (Watch out if the answer to the first part is yes but only because you're acting like someone you're not!) The key is that your BF or GF is into you for who you are — for your great sense of humor, your love of reality TV, etc. Does your partner listen when you say you're not comfortable doing something and then back off right away? Respect in a relationship means that each person values who the other is and understands — and would never challenge — the other person's boundaries.

All in all, you deserve to be happy, and if you love the one that you're with, then it was meant to be.

Peace and love to all you little dreamers

DISCLAIMER
***this is not real psychological help, just research done by the author of this site for educational purposes. The statements made by the author are true, but should not be used to influence relationships that are in true need of counseling (i.e physical or emotionally abusive relationships). The bulk of the information has come from http://kidshealth.org/teen/ and may be used as a legitimate source for guidance.

Appreciate Your Life

A few weeks ago, I had heard a story from my mother about a young man that attended a high school that wasn't too far off from my own that had died in a car accident. He was any ordinary boy, even looking at his picture I dropped my jaw in awe that such a young life could have been taken from this world. Being in the same grade, I couldn't help but cry my eyes out after discovering that he died so young. Just going too fast in his car... Just like life.
I can't stress it enough to my friends and family that some risks in life just aren't worth taking. Caution and love is what will get us through this life. It has taken me a while to get to writing this piece because to sit down and measure someone else's life and then be able to tell all others to enjoy their life was hard. How could I look at this story and take anything positive from it?
I did not know the young man personally, but had close friends who did. Those friends mean the world to me, and I could only imagine the mourning that had taken place at their school. The family of this young man did not deserve to have such a tragedy occur, and in saying that I sympathise with them and wish them all well...
However, I must tell you that in order to know what living is, you must live in the moment! It is the very essence of this life that every moment holds; it must be nurtured and respected just as if in the next minute you were to stop living. Imagine, the next second, your heart stops beating...
Scary thoughts, but not thoughts that really should be feared. They are thoughts that one should relish in and accept. Death and pain are both very real things that could happen to anyone. People are dying all around the world from starvation, war, and diseases that no 'miracle' medicine could ever cure. I am blessed to know the sort of life that I am currently leading; one of good intentions and common sense. Nothing could ever strike true fear in me anymore, for it is fear itself that manifests that true feeling of life. Yes, this is the view point of a firm believer in the existential thinker, but my philosophy has kept my spirit alive since the first time I felt the truest of pain the the bottom of my heart (the death of a close family member).
My personal experiences with death and pain are no match to that which has changed my view on the world: 9/11. This day is the epitome of existentialism. One must accept the loss and grieving as a sign from what ever god you believe in that it is time for a major change in your life to begin. It's a wake up call; a trigger for the happiness in your life to start meaning less and for you to start feeling something other than rainbows and butterflies. Life is truly a precious thing and should not be treated like a piece of tissue, being used over and over again. A life like that becomes very mundane and boring. It may sound cynical, but painful experiences are the only experiences that we can learn from. From petty mistakes to something as extreme as losing a family member in an horrifying event, they all have the power to awaken the human spirit and let us feel real emotions; grief, pain, love for what you have, and sadness for what you have lost. You become grateful for what you still have, but at the same time are able to live with the pain that you hold inside for what you have lost along the way.
So live everyday as if it were your last and don't you ever forget how precious this life is... You only have one life, so make it count.

Running and What It does to Me

Running has always been a favorite past time of mine... even as a young softball player, running around the field for warm up had motivated me to want to go the distance and run that extra mile. When I started running in high school, it took on a new meaning. It wasn't just something I did to pass the time anymore, it was a new calling. It was a thrill that excited me enough to jump out of bed in the morning and want to run with the rising sun (most mornings I will).

My boyfriend thinks that I am crazy for waking up early in the morning or going out even with the girls at practice, but even when in a competitive state, running is my high. Drugs, drinking, smoking, none of that could thrill my mind as much as running does. When I breath in the air that sweeps along my face, I know that some how I'm running with the wind; it carries my every stride and whispers to me to never quit and to never back down when I hear the approach of the other girl's shoes behind me. When I go out for a long run, however, that's when I receive my ultimate high.

I can day dream, get lost in the lines on the pavement, or lose myself in the sights and sounds of the woods if on a trail run. Just today, I was day dreaming, closing my eyes every couple of seconds to picture myself running towards the finish line of a big race. I imagined running into the arms of my loved ones, all waiting to pat me on the back and congratulate me. However, it is not the winning of a race or the pats on the back that I crave the most out of competing in a race; it's the adrenaline pumping through my veins, the sweat on my brow, and the taste of blood in my mouth that I crave the most. Running is the most primordial sport in the world, so when you put yourself out there, you become as Jack London put it, "the primordial beast."

It's a being that awakens itself inside of you, pushing you to your limits and then kicking you in the butt telling you to go further than you have ever gone before. Truth be told, I am addicted to running, but since I know I have an addiction, I can have some control over it.

Like most addicts, I can't live without the high I get from it. If I can't even get out to do a simple 2 mile run, my legs feel more painful than they would if I had finished a 12 mile long run. My knees lock up, my hands start shaking and my bones feel like Jell-O. My mother worries, and I don't blame her for it; I worry myself sometimes, too. So here is my caution to all you would be athletes who wish to aspire to running great heights:

Do not mess with this sport. We runners may look like we're bored or tired or just wanting to die, but it's how we feel at the end of the run that keeps us coming back for more. It's deadly, it wraps you up in its glory and kicks you in the head once its got a hold of you............

So what does running mean to me?...

Running to me is a way of life, it's inspiration to make every day better than the last.

And if you ask me why I run, I can only ask you a question in return:

"Why do you Breathe?"

Peace to all,

and to all a good, happy, and healthy life.